Failure is Not Final

I recently became aware of a noteworthy acronym for the word FAIL… First Attempt In Learning. (i) A Christian Satellite Network pastor once said, “Our failures do not prevent us from serving God, they PREPARE us for serving Him” (my emphasis). (ii) In any case, the point is that we have no need to fear failure. Thomas Edison's teachers said he was "too stupid to learn anything." He was fired from his first two jobs for being "non-productive." As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, "How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?" Edison replied, "I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps." (iii)

There are two huge areas where I have felt the most failure – my parenting and my home. So much so that I find it extremely difficult to discuss. However, if anyone is to benefit from my experience, then sharing is a must. But first, stay with me for a moment…

Think back when you got your first “F” on a progress report, even transcript, or some other equally devastating failure.

{{{ gasp }}}

Remember that feeling in the pit of your stomach? That’s called anxiety, and Philippians 4:6-7 is a commandment to “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (NKJV). Definitely easier said than done… without practice. Anything worth doing, is worth doing right… and even practice doesn’t make perfect. But, “perfect” practice makes perfect! While we’ll never be perfect, we can and should strive for it by giving it our all while never giving up.

There are several attributed to saying something like, “Give it all, but don’t give up.” It was another pastor I heard talking about surrender who gave me further perspective on this concept. We shouldn’t just give it all in our own strength, but in addition give it up (which is completely different than giving up) to the One who can actually do something with it. In our own strength we are weak. But in our weakness, we are made strong. God’s strength is made perfect in weakness. (iv)

It doesn’t seem accurate that in order to succeed you’ve got to give it up. And it certainly isn’t natural, especially for someone whose life has been so out of control, the result being to feel the need to take complete control and micromanage EVERYTHING. But if you’ve ever played an instrument, sang, or even typed on a keyboard with any kind of proficiency you realize the more you tighten your muscles you cramp up – even freeze joints, and choke! At some point, you notice the more you relax the better you become at it.

So back to my parenting and my home. While I still cringe at the idea that I can never go back and am far from where I would like to be, I have found I progress best when I “let it go” as Elsa sang in Disney’s Frozen (that one’s for you, Joe 😉). At some point after becoming a single parent, I decided my best strategy – for me... one with four girls, and for them... with the knowledge and experience of losing my mother at such a young age – would be to work myself out of a job. While my girls were given the task of becoming self-sufficient at what some may seem too early of an age, God came through like the Champion He is with Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for the good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Plus, knowing that I wouldn’t have survived without the women He placed in my life after losing my own mother, I constantly prayed for Him to place women in their lives who could give them what I couldn’t, and He did. My girls are all beautiful, both inside and out, and extremely self-sufficient. I just love our mother-daughter chats, some via video because of the distance between us. But, we are close in our hearts. Answered prayer.

As far as my home, well again I am far from where I would like to be. But, you cannot combine two five or six-person homes into one – as Joe and I did nearly twelve years ago – and not expect some chaos in the process! Even once we became an empty nest, with a few returning here and there, I am still finding boxes that have never been unpacked.

{{{ sigh }}}

However, this summer has been the turning point. Joe and I are finding balance and routine, as well as creating aesthetically pleasant and functioning space in our home. Most importantly, by placing God first, we have surrendered our home to become a place of sanctuary for ourselves, our children, grandchildren, and guests. And while there has been a lot of failure, a lot of “first attempts in learning,” it is with this goal that we have found the most progress occur, and it has given us abundant preparation for serving Him.

This post became a lot longer than I had first anticipated, so if you’ve hung in this far I applaud you! And I thank you for being a faithful reader. Until next time… ❤️

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(i) Unsure of original author, but heard quoted on a Flipgrid webinar
(ii) CSN – 11/15/2015 @ 6:15am
(iii) https://www.uky.edu/~eushe2/Pajares/OnFailingG.html
(iv) 2 Corinthians 12:9-10